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Does It Bother You When Your Partner Doesn’t Post About You Online?
Gianna G
Published on

Social media has changed the way relationships are portrayed in public. Private moments are now sorted, filtered, and shared on multiple platforms, making them easily accessible to friends and followers. Seemingly candid moments are captured at the perfect time, highlighting only the best parts of relationships.

The hashtags #CoupleGoals and #RelationshipGoals are used to describe couples that seem to have it all. They are the power couples, the matches made in heaven, the pairs we all aspire to be like—at least by the standards of social media.

While these public declarations of love usually evoke positive feedback, they also subject relationships to judgement and scrutiny, which is why some couples prefer not to post about their love lives online.

We asked nine girls to share their thoughts on the role social media plays in their relationships.

Does it bother you when your partner doesn’t post about you on social media?

“Yes, it does! I feel like if he is active on social media and he's sharing parts of his life on it, I feel bad when he doesn't post even just a little bit about me, like I'm not part of the things he wants to show in his life.” –Chiara, 28

“No, it doesn't bother me. I feel like a lot of times social media portrays a fake image of someone or a relationship. I'm pretty secure where I'm at with my boyfriend, so it doesn't matter if he posts about me on social media or not because I know we're happy.” –Gia, 28

“It used to bother me because I'm the type to do it, but I just came to realize he's just not the type to post on social media. I guess some people might be bothered by it because their SO's feed makes them look single if someone stalked them, which is fair and relevant in today's dating landscape. But I know he always talks to his friends about me so I don't worry. Plus, when he actually does it, it means more.” –Carmela, 26

“No it doesn't bother me. I prefer to keep our personal life between the two of us and our close friends. He doesn't really have to prove anything to me or to anyone online.” –Therese, 27

“It definitely used to bother me because I'm constantly on Instagram, but he recently stopped posting altogether so I don't feel so bad.” –Martina, 25

“It bothered me before because I felt like my then-boyfriend was hiding our relationship on purpose by not posting about me on social media. He didn’t seem to mind posting photos with other girls though, so it made me feel insecure and sad. But after a while I started to realize that social media isn’t an accurate representation of real relationships. What matters most is how happy and content you are behind the scenes.” –Amanda, 27

“It would be nice if he did, but no, it doesn't bother me because I know he doesn't really use social media much. For me, a post on social media doesn't equate to how much a person loves you or is committed to you. And because my boyfriend assures me and makes me feel secure in every other aspect, I don't need him to post about me on social media if he doesn't want to.” –Erica, 26

“Sure, that would bother me. My girlfriend is pretty active on social media, so it would puzzle me why she would care to share a photo of her meal to the world and not about me or us. Not to ask for everything to be all about me or us, but a post or two once in a while would be nice…and nakakakilig!” –Pong, 25

“My boyfriend isn't on social media, but even if he was, I personally don't find it necessary for him to post about me. I prefer privacy over keeping appearances. Especially since there are a lot of strangers on social media, I think there are some things that should just be kept private. Lastly, I don't really need everyone to know that we're in a happy relationship to actually be happy.” –Dana, 26

We would love to hear from you! Share your thoughts by commenting here or tag us on Instagram @iamclaireph